We’ve reached the end!!! Only four more A to Z posts. I am not going to lie. This challenge has kicked my butt, especially trying to visit as many blogs as I could while participating in Camp NaNoWriMo AND getting a book rough edited and sent out to beta readers. Even with all that, I’m glad I finally surrendered to the challenge. Let’s get this last week started!
Today’s word was contributed by my cousin, M. Alan Mills.
I was just having a discussion with a friend about this very subject this past weekend. We were talking about relationships and joint vs. separate checking accounts. There are many pros and cons on the subject of combining money into one account. As we discussed the differences, it hit me that this one aspect of the relationship can have a big effect on the we.
The hubby and I decided early on that we would combine our accounts into one. Before that, we tried to split the bills the best we could. I was usually left with way less money in my account which meant if we wanted to go do something, I felt like I couldn’t go because I couldn’t afford what little I had on something frivolous because I would need that money for groceries until the next payday. I did feel a bit resentful because we’d moved and I’d been forced to leave my job which meant taking a significant pay cut. I was happy we were married, but I resented the circumstances.
Later that year, we decided to combine all accounts. By the end of the next year, we’d started a savings account and with our money pooled, we were able to not only pay extra on both vehicles but also start contributing to retirement accounts. He and I became, we, working toward a common goal. It was easier to budget and by the third year, we were planning a family vacation and have been able to take frequent vacations since. We’ve continued to set goals that benefit the relationship. As we grow in our marriage, and as we age, those goals change, but we’re still working toward them together.
The we is usually the goal of a romance. Bringing two individuals together to make a unit. I know for me, sometimes I’ve read a romance and the writer has done such a great job of weaving a little life lesson in there through the characters that I have an epiphany and am able to approach my relationship in a better way. I’m far (very far) from being the ‘perfect spouse’ but I try. I do have some married friends who don’t understand why I have to ask my husband to do something with them. I ask, because we are a unit, and if I just ran off and did whatever I wanted, well, I might as well be single.
Actually, this is somewhat the theme in the Mary Balogh book I’m reading. The two characters have been thrown together by circumstance, agree that they don’t want to be married, but are becoming friends, and as such are beginning to take each others desires and feelings into consideration when they make the decision to embark on an adventure together. I can’t tell you the ending because I haven’t gotten there yet. 😉
Ask anyone whose been married a while. Talk to them and see how often they say the word we. Now ask a couple married less than 10 years. I’m curious to hear about your observations.