Only 10 more letters to go in the A to Z Challenge. This has really made me think of the many reasons I read romance. On to Letter Q
I’m about to go on a mini-rant, so bear with me. Nothing irritate me more than when I hear someone say “Your standards are too high. Why do you think you’re so much better than everyone else? Why do you deserve it?”
Grr. There are many reasons these people say such hateful things. They’re jealous, they’re mad and feeling rejected, they know they can be better but choose not to or don’t think they can, they’re hurt.
I heard it many times when I was single. One guy went so far as to tell me I was too fat to expect any better than him. Let me tell you, that conversation ended quickly and if I was the violent type, he would have been sporting a bloody nose in the process.
I’m not talking about quality writing, although that just as important and a completely different post. I’m talking about quality relationships. Quality friendships. True, you can find these in any genre – Science Fiction, Fantasy, Thriller, etc. But in romance, most people keep reading them because of the quality. The women in these pages aren’t afraid to ask for more for themselves. I don’t mean material things. I mean more. A better life, a more caring partner, heck, just a partner – someone who splits the duties with them.
For so many years, and in some places still, there’s a taboo against the woman asking for what she wants. And that includes quality of partner. My expectations are high because I want certain things out of life. I want to be comfortable (I don’t have to be rich, but I’d like to not live paycheck-to-paycheck), be able to buy books and go on vacations, and have a partner who is a helpmate, a best friend, and a true partner. If I lowered my expectations, where would I be? How would I feel about myself? I wouldn’t have the Hubby, nor would we have celebrated 14 years of marriage.
This is one of the things that makes people afraid of the romance genre. Demanding more, expecting more, and knowing that we’re perfectly within our rights to want more (see C, H, and I) for ourselves. Complacency breeds contempt and apathy. When someone asks you “Why do you deserve more than what you have?” tell them, “Because.” Expect quality, reach for it, treat it kindly when you receive it, because from what I’ve seen, it’s getting harder and harder to find.
What do you think of when you hear “quality”?