Reservations and Liberations

If you’re looking for a self-help post, this ain’t it. I am far from being an expert. I constantly learn things from others who are far more knowledgeable than I. This is somewhat of a rant, so bear with me.

When I started this blogging endeavor, I knew it would eventually be linked to my books, whenever I got around to getting them published. I played it very safe, tried to keep politics and religion out of it. Well, the religion thing didn’t last long because I did my Hello Holidays! posts for a year. Funny, those were some of the highest viewed posts.

I was afraid to let my true self show. I was worried about the face that the rest of the world would see. I blogged very conservatively. Not that I’m a politically active person. I just didn’t want to rock the boat, so to speak.

My niece and I, Fall 2006
My niece and I, Fall 2006. We get along well – she’s silly too.
A VERY cold day in South Texas. 2011
A VERY cold day in South Texas. 2011
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Me at about 2. The silliness started at a young age. I blame (thank) my mother.
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Showing off my first ever crocheted hat.
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Dick’s restaurant, San Antonio 2012

The last few months, I’ve been feeling like I’m not giving you all of me. I feel like I’m hiding behind a mask of sorts. Granted, I won’t be putting my address and phone number on here. That just wouldn’t be prudent. But I’m tired of having to hide. The post from Charlie and Murphy’s point of view is closer to who I am. I am a dork. I’m silly. I am a font of useless trivial knowledge. I do not fit in where I live. I don’t feel I fit in anywhere, truthfully. I curse like crazy (I blame my dad). I clean house to Mozart. I like show tunes – but only some (I’m picky when it comes to that). I have a thing for Brits – that is totally the fault of Simon LeBon (thanks Bush).

The point I’m trying to make is that  I’m going to slowly shed that reserve. I’ll try to keep the cursing to a minimum because the internet will probably start censoring me. (go figure!) I don’t know if it was turning 40 last year or the absolutely liberating process of self-publishing, but I’m tired of not being me in regards to my writing and posting. Every now and then something happening in the world will really gets to me, but I’ve kept a lot of that stuff off the blog because I didn’t want to offend anyone or turn away potential readers.

And potential readers are part of the reason I started blogging.  When I read something it’s because I like the writing. True, sometimes a persons personal life or beliefs will prevent me from picking up their book. But if others whose reading choices I respect recommend it, then I’ll at least give it a try. I doubt I’m the only one that thinks this way. Which is why I’ve tried to stay  in the middle of the PC spectrum.

I promise not to get too crazy.  I am not a flaming liberal nor am I a pent-up conservative. Or vice versa. I like knowing things. I have friends all over the gamut of beliefs, religions and sexual orientations. I really don’t give a rat’s ass what you believe or who you have sex with as long as you’re nice to me, I’ll be nice to you. Heck, we might even hang out. I like learning. I want others to teach me about their beliefs and why they believe that way. I guess I’m just curious. Sometimes it comes across the wrong way. You know what? Too bad. I try to phrase it the best I can, but some people just don’t want to be open about things and it’s out of my control as to how they feel or react.

So. I hope you’ll bear with me and even deign to take the time to teach me a few things. That’s how I learn. By talking to others and processing the information they give against what I have learned previously. Here’s to future learning and open discourse!!

Melanie

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