“His hand slid slowly up her…”


Bet THAT got your attention! LOL. Sorry, I know I can be a tease. but then again, I am a romance writer. I have quite a few other writers’ blogs sent to my email and my Word Press reader. Some days the information is overwhelming and some days something just clicks. Like the Writers in the Storm post about sexy phrases. This is a blog I hopped to through a link. Some of the phrases mentioned even made me blush.

But it got me thinking. Sex scenes vs. love scenes vs. emotional scenes.  They are all completely different. I believe a well crafted romance will have all. Sorry, I like to have at least one bedroom scene in my books. Okay, so it doesn’t have to be in the bedroom, but you know what I mean. It’s just another way to emotionally connect to your reader.

Part of the discussion on the “Storm” blog was about forcing a sex scene into the story because you think the characters should be having sex by that point in the story. What if it doesn’t feel right though? If it doesn’t feel right, it’s probably not time. Unless the purpose of the scene is for the main character to make a mistake by having sexual relations with that character too soon.

The funniest example of this happening in my writing was in the rewrite of Bradley’s Letter. I just KNEW it was time for these two to get intimate. I set the scene. A trip to the big city, dancing in a romantically lit ballroom, an expensive dinner. She spent so much time on her appearance just knowing that the night would end with their first time making love. As I have the characters leaving the dining room/ballroom, Fred (my internal editor – I’ve mentioned him before) kept digging his feet into the geometrical carpet of the hotel hallway. The closer the characters got to the room, the more he dug in. I managed to get the characters into the room, they lean in for a first kiss and wham!My poor heroine ends up hugging the Porcelain God, apologizing for wasting such a decadent meal.


Obviously, it was time for these two to become intimate. As I got further, I realized that she hadn’t quite resolved the trust issues she had regarding the hero and he still had some atoning to do for his past behavior.

Knowing your characters will help you know when it’s right for them to have sex.  Here’s another example. In the third book of the soon to be released When Love trilogy, Trevor Mcintosh gets quite a bit of action. He’s pretty much known for short, hot relationships. His ex floats into town and because he’s feeling down and turned on by his thoughts of someone else, he enjoys a carnal coupling simply to relieve the physical ache. There’s no emotional attachment between the two. They both know this going in and it’s simply so they can “scratch an itch”, so to speak. The woman who initial sparked the ‘itch’ becomes important to him and he tries to hold off consummating their relationship because he cares for her and respects her.

Of course, this wouldn’t necessarily apply to anyone writing erotica. Those are definitely more on the hot an heavy side of the spectrum.  As I write and get to know my characters, they tell me when it’s right to get physical.

hehe, sorry, couldn’t help myself.

So, how do you decide when to have your characters get intimate?

Have a great weekend!




4 thoughts on ““His hand slid slowly up her…”

    1. It’s a tough balance to find. I’ve been working on that through edits. The first one I plan to publish had three pretty steamy scenes. It’s down to one and I think it’s a stronger book now.

      I saw that, thanks!!! Will look at the deets today.

    1. Well, if it makes you uncomfortable, you can do the ‘sweet’ romances where there might be kissing but the sex, if any, is never shown.

      I like writing them for the most part. I just worry about being repetitive.

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