1st Platform Challenge story

Guess what? It is time for the first writing assignment in the 4th Platform Building Challenge . The challenge is to write a Flash Fiction story starting with the words Shadows crept across the wall. Extra challenges include writing exactly 200 words, using the word orange, writing in your normal genre and ending with the words everything faded.

Here is my effort. If you like the story, go to the following link and vote for my story. I’m #78 on the list. If not, please stop by Rach’s site and check out the other talented writers.

Shadows crept across the wall. Outside the ocean ebbed and waved as the sunset bathed the crested tops. Fuchsia, reds, and varying shades of orange danced on the aquamarine surface.

Her sun-kissed skin cooled as the glowing orb made its final decent below the horizon. She’d waited on the sand until the chill forced her back into the beach house. The bag containing her towel and their picnic lunch still sat on the floor.

Pissed didn’t begin to describe how she felt. He’d stood her up again. The fourth reschedule of their second date. The strawberries now sat in a pool of melted whipped cream. She’d fantasized about using the fruit as something other than dessert.

Normally, she didn’t drink. Or get stood up four times in a row. She thought he was the one. Even though he kept missing their second date, she still felt he was the one. Mixing the liquids together, she sat down gently swirling the contents as she watched the stars blink into view.

She set the drink on the floor and walked to the window. Obviously, after a cancelled fourth date he definitely was not the one. As the light dimmed, everything faded.

Thanks for stopping by the blog and enjoy the other stories! :)

Melanie

35 comments to 1st Platform Challenge story

  1. Time to find someone new! You have my vote :)

  2. Nick Wilford says:

    You had some nice descriptive language of the sunset scene. Bittersweet feel to this one. Glad she realised he wasn’t the one!

  3. Yes, I’d say he definitely is NOT the one. Beautiful imagery, nice inner thoughts. :)

  4. She deserves someone better! Nice job! I’m # 61.

  5. Carrie-Anne says:

    I loved reading her inner thoughts and the descriptions of her surroundings. She definitely should throw those strawberries in his face!

    I’m #123.

  6. Nice. I liked the transition of the lovely language into her being pissed. lol

  7. Obviously! nicely done. Mine is #71

  8. Definitely not the one! She can find someone way better :)

  9. Ashley Nixon says:

    Man, I’d have given up on the first rescheduled date! Great job! I feel sorry for her, but she’ll find the one! lol.

  10. Well, expectations with someone like that…

    I’m #58, Tale Spinning

  11. I like how you shift gears after the first paragraph. I expected it to go a certain way and then I got a nice surprise. :-)

  12. deniz says:

    Aww, so sad. Love the way you told it!

  13. Synithia W says:

    Time to move on to the next one girlfriend :-) Good take on the challenge. I just submitted mine #116 Good luck!

  14. Oh, poor girl! She should’ve given him the cold shoulder after the fist missed date. Make him come begging. She’s better off and deserves much better!

    Good job! I’m entry #96. Stop on by sometime!

  15. siv maria says:

    Guess this would be a typo?”until the chill forced her into back into the beach house” Some great descriptions set the mood well.

  16. Awww that’s so sad! I really liked it! Nicely written! :)

    I’m #37

  17. Ann Cory says:

    Nice introspect from your character – I feel for her but can tell she’s strong. Nice work!

  18. Oh, this one is sad. I feel bad for her. Well written.

  19. Aww poor girl! I hope she finds a better guy. Love your take on the challenge :)

    I’m entry #19

Pen your thoughts...

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s